LAD Bible: Thomas Martin on How To Tell If Your Partner Is Cheating
Martin Investigative Services was recently featured in The LAD Bible, in an article titled Private Investigator Explains How To Tell If Your Partner Is Cheating.
DetailsPrivate investigator and former Federal agent Thomas G. Martin has seen thousands of cheating spouse cases over his career.
The text below is an excerpt from “The Cheating Spouse” chapter of Martin’s first book, If You Only Knew. The entire text of which is now available online for free.
Did you know:
Your husband has been coming home from work everyday for the past ten years at 5pm, but recently he’s pushing the arrival time to 9pm or so. Or maybe he used to go out with pals once a week and now he’s stepping out 3-4 times a week, acting secretive and jumpy. Plus, Mr. Practical traded in the mini-van for a Dodge Viper and you’re no longer invited to ride along.
Occasionally there are reasons why you can’t join him, but he should be making an attempt to involve you. Invite yourself along when he goes out with his friends. If he’s working late, offer to bring him dinner. If he declines, look into the situation.
Is he leaving for work much earlier than he needs to and coming home later? Unfaithful partners may leave the house right after their shower, just to have breakfast with someone else. Is this another change in habits that is unexplained?
He says he has to take a business trip, even though his company’s travel budget has been slashed. Business trips that used to be short now start on Friday and require an entire weekend because he says he likes get settled in his hotel room and use the alone-time to prepare for Monday’s presentation. He says it’s against company policy to bring you along. Or, regardless of “buy one, get one free” airline and hotel specials, he says, “we can’t afford” to extend his business trip into a mini-vacation for both of you.
He finds reasons not to participate in family events, needing to help a friend move or work out at the gym. He says he doesn’t feel comfortable joining your family for a special dinner, but doesn’t want you to stay home with him.
His job and his paycheck are the same but his workload seems to have doubled. He now works late into the night and weekends. And why won’t he discuss the details of that huge, time-consuming project he’s now on? He refuses to meet near his office for a late-night date, explaining that he can’t be interrupted. When he comes home, it’s right to bed. And it’s sleep, no pillow talk.
If divorce is in the cards, it is critical to obtain tangible, court-admissable proof of the affair for legal reasons – as it can make a huge difference toward getting you a lucrative divorce settlement.
He earns money but none of it seems to come home. He makes excessive ATM withdrawals, but he can’t point to any large purchases to explain where the money went. He borrows money from you. One explanation: Affairs are costly. There are dinners, gifts and getaways.
You both used to have an open-door policy concerning shared finances, but now he insists on handling it all. He accuses you of snooping in his wallet or briefcase. Maybe he hides them. There’s a difference between one partner taking care of balancing the checkbook and someone suddenly being secretive about checking account balances.
There are expenditures and phone numbers that he doesn’t want you to see, so he has credit card and phone bills sent to his work instead of home. Or maybe he’s rented a mailbox for bills, new credit cards or private letters. He doesn’t tell you, but you stumble across the U.S. Post Office key or see it on his key chain.
Sometimes, there is a valid reason for establishing a mailbox address. Frequent movers use them but usually not someone who has lived in the same house for fifteen years. Someone may want a post office box for safety reasons, too. But do you both know the location and have access to a key? Women who have hired our private investigation firm to complete surveillance are shocked to learn that their partner has a private, secret box.
Your boyfriend is buying expensive clothes and paying particular attention to his hair. Telltale sign: the man who use to lube his car now sports manicured nails. He may be boosting his self-esteem, but there also may be another reason for this “extra effort.”
He comes home from a long day of work appearing freshly showered, well-groomed and smelling better than when he left. Is that new cologne he’s wearing?
Have a spouse that dismisses your suspicions of infidelity by saying “You’re crazy”?
From more than 33,000 marital surveillances performed by Martin Investigative Services, the mate was cheating 97% of the time.
People want incontestable proof, so they can have finality.
He’s wearing gold rings or chains for the first time.
Or you find out that he’s buying women’s jewelry but you haven’t seen any of it.
He keeps cologne, hair spray or blankets in his car.
Ticket stubs, hotel keys, greeting cards, lipstick holders, earrings and condom wrappers find their way into your home without explanation.
He has a sudden commitment to improving his physique. Or he joins a gym, tells you he’s going there every day but his appearance doesn’t seem to change from month to month. He denies that health clubs are good places to meet people. And even though he says he’s benefiting, he doesn’t want you to work out at the same gym.
The number of hang-up telephone calls at your home has jumped. But when he answers the phone, someone’s always on the other end. You push *69 and use caller ID to investigate hang-up calls. Or after he’s made a call, you hit the redial button, but you don’t know the person or company on the other end of line.
You observe an unusually high amount of text messaging. He keeps his phone close to him; at night. He receives texts from unfamiliar numbers or with codes like “11691.” You witness him on a different mobile phone than he normally uses, or find one in his car’s glove box. He hides the phone bills.
Delivering bad news can be challenging, but it’s important to do so in a way that is sensitive to what the person is going through.
Martin Investigative Services helps people with any professional help they may need, be it references to talented psychologists or the best divorce lawyers possible. People need to be able to move forward with their lives.
You observe an unusually high amount of text messaging. He keeps his phone close to him; at night. He receives texts from unfamiliar numbers or with codes like “11691.” You witness him on a different mobile phone than he normally uses, or find one in his car’s glove box. He hides the phone bills.
He use to always be ready for sex, despite mood, workload or stress level. Lately, you’ve expressed interest and he’s hesitant.
Instead of taking the time to talk, he now walks out in mid-sentence and refuses to finish the conversation. Fights are more frequent and they never get resolved.
He no longer freely gives information. He doesn’t want to join you for lunch. He starts an argument when you ask about his plans, thereby avoiding the question and making you think twice before you quiz him again.
Two of your girlfriends saw your boyfriend with a woman at a bar, but when you questioned him about it, he said he was working late. It’s time to: 1) see if he has a twin or 2) take a serious look at what’s going on.
He gets on your case when you ask something simple, like how his day was. He’s irritable and easily provoked.
Does he get angry by your surprise visits to his office even though it’s not inconvenient or inappropriate for you to be there? Maybe he doesn’t want you to meet any of the new female employees at the office.
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Experienced investigators provide you with court-admissible evidence that can make all the difference in a trial.
Former DEA, FBI, IRS, and Secret Service agents with decades of experience perform your surveillance case and personally deliver the results to you.
Martin Investigative Services provides you with the truth. You get quality surveillance services with an unmatched success rate.
All memory cards containing photo/video evidence that is collected during surveillance investigations are given directly to the client. Martin Investigative Services keeps nothing.
See more of the benefits Martin Investigative Services offers you.
Some potential signs of a cheating spouse include changing habits, leaving early and returning late, business trips, holiday absences, excessive overtime, unexplained expenditures, secretive accounts, hidden bills and letters, extra grooming, the scent of another person, buying jewelry, unexplained items, health club memberships, hang-ups, coded text messages, less sex, evasiveness and defensiveness, obvious lies, prickliness, and a disdain for visits.
Those that come to hire a private investigator want incontestable proof of the affair, so they can have finality. Court-admissable evidence of infidelity can also help greatly during divorce proceedings.
Pulling data from over 33,000 marital surveillance jobs performed by Martin Investigative Services: 97% of the time the partner was cheating.
Martin Investigative Services met with a wife, and mother of three children. She suspected her husband was cheating on her, but she needed proof.
Martin Investigative Services’ private investigators performed a minimum 4-hour surveillance on her husband, and provided video of her husband and his lover going to a local hotel.
Martin Investigative Services then referred to attorneys, who assisted in obtaining a divorce decree.
Every year, Martin Investigative Services investigates hundreds of cheating spouse cases and surveillances. These sensitive investigations are performed with a level of discreet, professional courtesy.
Martin Investigative Services was recently featured in The LAD Bible, in an article titled Private Investigator Explains How To Tell If Your Partner Is Cheating.
DetailsThe struggling economy has created yet one more problem for business owners: skyrocketing employee theft.
DetailsMartin Investigative Services is featured in this August 2, 2018 article in The Independent about cheating spouses.
The article was also picked up by The Sun, The New York Post & News.com.au.
DetailsNo matter what Americans do to protect their digital privacy, especially on our handheld devices, it’s impossible to keep up with new threats. Now, there’s a new risk to our privacy and security: Our cell phone numbers are being used increasingly by information brokers as the window to personal information that’s kept by nearly all corporations, financial institutions, and, yes, social media networks.
Among those sounding the alarm bell is private investigator and former Drug Enforcement Agency agent Thomas Martin, who recently wrote a blog post titled, “Your cell phone number is your new Social Security number.” Martin’s message was clear: We are way too lackadaisical about keeping our numbers private.
DetailsSee all press items.
I have used Martin Investigative Services for everything from marital indiscretions to finding hidden assets for more than 25 years. Working with Mr. Martin has been invaluable to my practice. Tom Martin is insightful, creative and never fails to deliver. I endorse his firm without hesitation or reservation.
I’ve represented individuals and businesses (international and local) for close to fifty years, and I’ve called on Martin Investigative Services more times than I can count, often on a rush basis, for help throughout the world, on a number of different types of assignments. I’ve never been disappointed. I’ve always received swift, cost-effective and USEFUL information, which has wound up “saving the bacon” of our clients and making us shine in their eyes. I recommend them without any reservation.
We have used Martin Investigative Services for three decades. Their work is exemplary; reports are perfect and their testimony is very professional, with great judge and jury appeal. We will not use anyone else for our investigations.
I have worked with Martin Investigative Services for our company investigations for close to 20 years. Tom and the team are always professional, skilled and get right to the heart of any assignment I have for them. I would highly recommend Martin Investigative Services for any workplace investigation.
I have used Thomas Martin’s services for many years and have found his work to be of the highest standards. He gets the job done quickly, efficiently and reliably. He is aware of the law and always submits quality reports. I highly recommend Martin Investigative Services to any attorney, business or individual who is in need of a professional investigator.
Successful people know that to be the best, you model the best. I cannot recommend Martin PI any higher! In a five-minute conversation with experienced people you can save thousands by bypassing sales types. They do this by cutting directly to the heart based on years and years of passionate pursuit of best practices and adding massive value to their clients. They are an invaluable part of my team and Tom is my most valued mentor!
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